Straight-Up Weird

Last night, I was out with a groups of friends for a bachelorette party. It was, for me, quite the interesting adventure outside of "the ghetto" of the Village and back into Straight-land.

Without getting into the details of how the fun-filled evening progressed, we ended up in a nightclub on Crescent street after much running about. We even managed to get our party of eight into the club cover-free simply by chatting with one of the doormen. That's one of those advantages women will always have over men! Whether gay or straight, clubs never feel compelled to let a group of guys into their club for free. But I digress...

Inside, the club looked like you would expect for a Saturday night on Crescent. Poshy-poshy. Clean-ish. Dark. It was early when we got there so I had some time to observe the dynamics of of the club in a bit more detail than I usually would.

First off: why the hell are drinks so expensive outside of the Village? A drink that would usually cost 7$ in any gay club, say Smirnoff Ice, is at least 9$ in the downtown area! What the hell is with the markup? Now I get why so many straighties are going east to get hammered. At that price, it's discouraging to drink.

Next: straight guys can't dress for shit. Their shirts are generally hanging off of them, ugly, out of date, out of style and dirty. There are a few who dressed decently, but they just didn't know how to accessorize and coordinate their outfits with any flare that would make them stand out of the crowd. I look at the "badly dressed" guys of nightclubs I usually go to, and they look like rockstars next to these untrendy heteros.

Add to their horrible appearance the fact that these guys are horrible dancers. What is going on my straight men? Did you forget even basic dance steps? Basic rules of movement? Why did I just see a bunch of poorly dressed guys bobbing around like apples in a bucket? Pathetic. No hip movement, no body control...bleurk. There were, notably, some exceptions who were skilled dancers, but of course that led to one of the most ridiculous stunts I've seen in a club...ever. Oh yes, I saw one of those "dance battles" you see in movies. Yes, dance battle, in a club, on a Saturday night. It was almost too ridiculous to be true. There were 3 or 4 guys who were pulling out their best moves that made them look purely ridiculous. Generally, the whole battle looked like they were trying to wriggle out of their ugly clothes en route to making out with themselves.

Speaking of dancing, why is it that men are not allowed to dance on podiums/stages/cubes in straight clubs? The girls I was out with tried to pull me up onto a platform with them and we were warned within three seconds that I had to get off immediately. No guys are allowed to dance on any elevated surface. Even if, as we witnessed in the night, it's some guy doing a flawless moonwalk on a stage while Micheal Jackson is playing, no good! He was warned and removed from the stage (that no one was on anyway).

Anyway, overall, I understood why most women hate going out in regular clubs. There's a predatory atmosphere in there where the guys are simply ruling the space by treating the women in it like meat to be bought with alcohol. There's a distinct lack of fun that is built-in in gay clubs. Yes, gay clubs are no different in the treating of guys as objects, but at least everyone is in on the game and is playing at the same level.

All The Lovers - Kylie

Most people in "straight society" don't know this, but there is one gay music icon that surpasses all the rest in terms of her durability and appeal. Yes, everyone knows about Madonna, Britney, Lady Gaga, Cher, Elton John, George Michael...all the music icons that have impacted the gay community. The great Kylie Minogue, however, is one of our best kept secrets.

Most people know her for her hit at the turn of the millennium "Can't Get You out of My Head" and her 80's breakthrough "Locomotion". Beyond those two songs, her popularity in the general North American public begins to wain. But year after year, she has continued to produce hits that the gay community universally embraces. Her songs of love, lust and happiness appeal to all gays, young and old. Unlike most of the other gay-music-icons, I can't think of anyone who dislikes her music.

With hits like Wow, The One, In My Arms, On a Night Like This, Like a Drug and more, she has earned her renown within the community.

Her latest single All the Lovers adds to an already stunning repertoire. And for some reason, I just love this song! Enjoy...

Self-Hating Gays

There's a phenomenon I've always found intriguing...Gay men, like myself, are usually very proud to be who they are. We don't necessarily fly rainbow flags on all our balconies (how tacky would that be) but we are generally open about our sexuality and lifestyle.

And then, there are those other ones.

Those other ones who can only be labelled as self-hating gays. They love being with another man...in bed only, and only if no one will notice. They love going on gay chat sites...and hiding their identity, insisting on discretion and, of course, are looking for "non-village" guys.

And what the hell is that anyway? Non-village? Where do you intend to go with the guy you find? How deep in the closet are you? Even if you're looking for a quick hook-up, you're gonna have to go to a sauna or something of the like and most are in the Village! It's like saying you're Canadian and you live just across the border in Vermont. Say what you want, you're not gay unless you accept the Village for what it is.

I'm not saying "all gays move to the village"! I'm saying enjoy the fact it's there and respect those who go there, work there, live there.

Bottom line: be who you are and respect those who are not who you are. We ask others for acceptance all the time but hand it out so sparingly. Let's try a bit of reciprocity, no?

Samantha Fox - Touch Me

One song that came into my head the other day and has refused to go away is this lovely old song by Samantha Fox, "Touch Me". Just saw the clip. Ridiculous. 80s. Crazy. That aside, I'm amazed to see that everyone nowadays makes a stink about songs like "If You Seek Amy" when these types have been around for ages...Just substitute the word "touch" with "fuck" (which are phonetically somewhat close) and you'll see what I mean...

Changes...

Many new changes have come into play in my life in the past year that have caused me to abandon this blog (yet again). It's been a rock and roll kind of year. I settled into the city and got used to its vibes. Looked for love, couldn't see it, found it, lost it, moved on. Went through a few jobs and am now settling into a new one that seems to have the right balance of things I need.

Now, it's summer. That's what really matters. I'm here in this great city. I'm alive and healthy. I'm in better shape than I've ever been. I'm optimistic about...well, everything. I see past my little failures to the big picture and see where it's all headed. And so far, I like it :)

All that's left...is to learn how to embed youtube videos in here and I'll be back in business.

New Format & Re-launch

Going for a new look, new vibe, new things...more multimedia and more random goodness :)